The Work of a Mother

Love: The Foundation of Effective Mothering

            I am currently a student studying Child Development. Throughout the courses I have taken for my major I have learned the importance of being a responsive mother. One study that comes to mind that I would like to share about the effects a mother can have on her child is the Harlow monkey study. Harry Harlow conducted a study with a baby monkey who had two different mothers. One mother was made out of wire, this wire monkey was the baby monkey’s food source and had the ability to nurse the baby monkey. The other mother was made out of cloth and did not have the ability to feed the baby monkey. Of course this baby monkey had to live and would go to the wire monkey for food but would return to the cloth monkey for love, security, and comfort. During this study the baby monkey was placed in two different situations. Each situation made the baby monkey fearful. As the baby monkey experienced these fearful emotions during these situations, the baby monkey always went to the cloth mother and never the wire mother. The cloth mother replaced fear with comfort, affection, and safety. As the baby monkey found security in the cloth mother, new positive response patterns developed within the baby monkey’s behavior. The monkey actually began to explore what had previously been fearful.  Click here if you would like to watch a short video clip about this study.

            All mothers develop relationships with their children. I thought this study was a proven example of the importance and necessity of love. It is critical for a mother to be responsive to a child’s needs in order to develop a secure attachment. “A secure attachment enables a child to develop feelings that he or she deserves love, feelings that help him or her learn to appreciate, understand, and empathize with the feelings of others and appropriately regulate relationship closeness and conflict resolution.” I believe that every person needs to know that they are loved by at least one other person. Every person needs love to develop and survive. Did you know that the development of a child depends upon the attachment between the mother and child? “The way a mother interacts with her child predicts cognitive, social, and emotional development.” John Bowlby’s attachment theory explains the effects of low maternal care or attachment. “Children who had been deprived of maternal care during extended periods in their early lives seemed to develop into individuals who lacked feeling, had superficial relationships, and exhibited hostile or antisocial tendencies.” Becoming a mother includes many lifelong responsibilities. Maternal sensitivity and attachment can have either positive or negative effects on children. As a mother it is important to respond to your child’s needs as well as giving them the opportunity to explore and develop autonomy.

            I would like to conclude by sharing my understanding that I know every family is different and not all mothers are able to be at home with their children every day. My mother and father were divorced when I was young and my mother had to work during the day. However my mother knew the importance of communication. She communicated with me by being aware of my after school activities. She also was able to monitor my actions because she would make sure she called me after I was out of school to listen about my day and make sure I was home safe. Even though my mother was not at home during the day she was still very involved in my life and I knew by her communication of her love for me.