Spending Time as a Family Improves Parenting Styles

Parenting Styles versus Practices

The four different parenting styles are authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and uninvolved or disengaged. I would like to focus on the authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles. I would like to explain the authoritarian parenting style which is associated with the coercion parenting practice. Coercion occurs when a parent tries to compel a child to behave in a certain way. Usually in a way that is most desirable to the parent. Coercion leads children to escape, avoid, and find ways to get even with their parents. Coercion produces losses in the parent/child relationship. Authoritarian parents are strict, structured and demand obedience, showing little love and warmth to their children. Authoritative parenting involves a balance between love, warmth, rules, and structure.

“Authoritative parents are presumed to create a positive interactional climate based on the optimal balance of high warmth to high expectations, which environment in turn leads to children and adolescents being receptive to parental influence.” Elder Robert D. Hales taught, “The key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord come into our homes.” We can invite the Spirit into our homes by creating time specifically for the family. My family plans family activates once a week! My husband and I love to spend our time together but sometimes find it hard with our separate daily schedules. This time dedicated to each other weekly allows us to show our love for each other. I believe parents can plan family activities that involve their children as well. Parents should not create a home environment or relationship using coercion. Instead parents should plan and conduct family activities that teach their children the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. These activities can also teach children the consequences for appropriate and inappropriate behavior. The example established by the parents will teach the children. Family bonding activities sets time apart for the family where parents can show love to their children.

     

“Parenting practices is defined as strategies undertaken by the parent(s) to achieve specific academic, athletic, or social competence goals in specific contexts and situations.” Parenting styles can involve different parenting practices. Because every child is different and every parent knows their child best, “Parents can modify their parenting practices to children of different temperaments or challenges.” The most effective parenting practices are not those that bring immediate results and long term parent/child relationship losses. The most effective parenting practices are those which include high demands, when consequences for appropriate and inappropriate behavior are known, love or warmth, and the encouragement of child self-sufficiency. 

     

Gershoff and Bitensky argue that, “the primary goal for any socialization should be to promote children’s internalization of the reasons for behaving appropriately rather than to behave solely to avoid punishment.” Parents need to teach children to be their own judges. I believe natural consequences to misbehavior allow children to learn from their mistakes. Teaching children that their actions and decisions have consequences will prepare them for the world we live in today.